The Secret of Everything

January 31, 2011 at 4:55 pm | Posted in GFCF | 3 Comments
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Drumroll please…..the secret of everything is….to make it non-negotiable.  Someone asked me the other day how we had managed to keep our son on a strict GFCF diet for years.  My answer was simple: we made it non-negotiable.  I literally treat it like a peanut allergy.  If my son had a peanut allergy and we were at a birthday party where they were serving a cake with a peanut filling I wouldn’t consider letting him have any.  I wouldn’t waste time thinking about what the other kids might think, or what the other parents might think.  I would be sensitive to my son’s feeling about being different and or feeling left out, but I wouldn’t dream of letting those feelings talk me into rethinking whether he could try a piece.  It wouldn’t cross my mind.  Why?  Because it would be a matter of life and death, in other words it would be completely non-negotiable.

GFCF Chicken Meatballs

When I think back over the things in my life that worked out favorably it is clear to me that at some point I made them non-negotiable.  I don’t think it’s just me.  I have a friend that lost over a hundred pounds in the last year – without surgery.  I heard someone ask her how she did it the other day.  She told the person that she stopped dieting.  Dieting meant she could go on the diet on Monday, be off of it by Wednesday at noon and then restart it on the following Monday.  It wasn’t working.  Instead, she found a way of eating and made it non-negotiable.  She stopped weighing herself every other day and just decided that no matter what happened she was going to follow her new food plan.  The result?  She lost 100 pounds in a year!

It isn’t easy making something non-negotiable.  If it was I would be thin, rich and not concerned about what other people think…ever.  I don’t think that everything in your life can be non-negotiable; that would be no fun.  Ultimately, it’s a question of priorities.  What is important enough to be considered non-negotiable?  In my house I can tell you exactly what’s non-negotiable : anything that has helped our son on his journey to recover from Autism.  For us, and I realize this isn’t true for all families, it is adhering religiously to the GFCF diet, the principles of ABA and taking a few supplements everyday.  It’s non-negotiable.  Putting off doing the laundry, on the other hand….completely negotiable!


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  1. Hi there!

    We are also doing the GFCF (as well as many other allergy-creating foods…) diet for a year now and have seen huge differences in our whole family since our eldest son was diagnosed with high functioning autism last Feb. It’s so good to read another parent who feels the same way I do (particularly about non-negotiable or even how your son reacts to sugar, we have the same issue here). I am trying desperately to find other parents where I live in Toronto who are experiencing the same things we are, but have yet to meet ones who are actually as dedicated as you are. And yes, Namaste is awesome…:)

    So glad you’re getting the information out there.
    Take care,
    Jessica 🙂

  2. I am so glad I found your site. I have my 5 1/2 year old son with autism gluten free and working on casein. You are so right about your attitude. We are working the dairy/casein product out and we are almost there. Have you had any experience with raw milk? I have read a few things about success with casein issues. Anyway, thanks for your blog and I am doing your chicken reciped this sunday!
    working to recover Brody

    • We have not done the raw milk, I will be honest that I just haven’t been brave enough to try it. We did recently start doing coconut cultured milk, which has been a fun addition. Let me know how your dancing chickens turn out!

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